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Harnesses are the perfect sex toy. They’re simple. They’re easy to use. |
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A harness is used to attach a dildo to a body or object. The harnessed dildo is then used to penetrate someone. Most of the folks who use harnesses are female bodied – in other words they don’t have a penis that grew or was surgically constructed. Sometimes people who have a biological penis choose to use a harness and dildo. Reasons they may do this include erectile dysfunction or other medical issues, gender play and/or a desire to penetrate their partner vaginally and anally at the same time. People who use harnesses have all kinds of gender identities – they could look like Miss America, Arnold Schwarzenegger or anyone in between. Regardless, a harness allows them to penetrate their partner in an intimate way that leaves their hands free. How delicious is that? Harnesses come in many different shapes and sizes. There is one to meet the needs of anyone. Pick one that sounds like it will be comfortable. And, that matches the way that you want to look and feel. When you are picking out a harness there are several things to consider: Style There are two styles that most harnesses come in: G- String G-string harnesses are pretty much what they sound like; a harness that fits like a g-string panty. These are great for folks who like the feel of a g-string. They also make it easy to attach a harness cuff. A harness cuff is a small piece of fabric that goes around the harness strap and attaches to a dildo or butt plug. With a harness cuff, the harness wearer is penetrated while they are wearing the harness. A g-string harness makes it difficult the wearer’s partner to access the wearer’s cunt. For some folks that’s a plus, for others, a minus. Jock Style Jock Style harnesses fit much like an athletic jock strap. How does a jock strap fit? Basically there is a belt that goes around the hips of the person wearing the harness. Attached to the belt are two straps that go thru the wearer’s legs, up around the ass cheeks and attach to the belt in the back. This style is great for folks who don’t like the feel of a g-string. It allows the wearer’s partner to access the wearer’s cunt. With many models, it is also easy to use a harness cuff. Harnesses come in many different fabrics. The most common fabric is leather, but you can also get rubber, vegan leather, nylon, spandex or vinyl. Each fabric has advantages and disadvantages. Leather Leather wears well. For many people the look and feel of leather has a cache that nothing else has. It lasts for a long time and gets softer with use. It is animal skin and can absorb bacteria or virus. It should be cleaned with saddle soap and water. Rubber Rubber wears well. It is not as flexible as leather. It is easy to clean with soap and water. It does not absorb bacteria or virus. Vegan Leather Several manufacturers of harnesses have recognized the need to provide vegan folks with leather look harnesses. These products use an artificial, breathable, water resistant leather. These products are easy to clean with soap and water and do not absorb bacteria or virus. Nylon Nylon harnesses are made out of the webbed nylon that you often find on backpack straps. It’s sturdy and can be cleaned by throwing it in the washing machine (use a lingerie bag to ensure that the straps don’t get caught). This fabric can absorb bacteria or virus. Spandex Spandex harnesses are made out of spandex fabric. Harnesses that are all spandex look much like biker shorts. Some harnesses use a combination of nylon and spandex. Spandex harnesses may be washed in the washing machine (use a lingerie bag if the harness has straps). This fabric can absorb bacteria or virus. Vinyl Do you remember the banana seats on bicycles in the 1970’s? Those delicious, sparkly seats? Well that’s what these harness are made of. They do not absorb bacteria or virus and should be cleaned with soap and water. Some are in fancy glittery colors. These harnesses are not as durable as other fabrics (remember how the bicycle seats cracked?). The main ways that harnesses attach are with buckles, o-rings or with plastic snap buckles. Buckles Buckles are very stable. They can be difficult to adjust during sex (sometimes you need to adjust during sex). O-Rings O-rings are not quite as stable as buckles. They can shift during sex. However, they are easy to adjust during sex. O-rings are a good option for people that are especially small or petite. A small person would not need to punch additional holes in the harness (like they would with a harness with buckles). Plastic Snap Buckles These are buckles that you may find on a messenger bag or backpack. This type of attachment is most commonly found on nylon or spandex harnesses. The straps on these harnesses are usually adjusted by pulling the strap through part of the buckle, just like you would adjust a shoulder strap on a bag. The dildo is attached to the harness by putting it thru a hole in fabric or thru a large rubber or metal o-ring. In some cases behind the o ring or the hole in the fabric is a back pad. No Back Pad With no back pad, the dildo is directly against the wearer’s skin. Some people like this because it feels very intimate. If a silicone dildo is being used, silicone transmits heat and vibration increasing the sensations for the wearer. The flip side is that the dildo can pull on the wearer’s pubic hair. People who have low body fat, and limited padding in the pubic region may be bruised by the dildo during vigorous fucking. Back Pad With a back pad the base of the dildo rests on the fabric and the fabric is between the dildo and the wearer’s skin. This provides the wearer with a bit of padding between them and the dildo. Some back pads provide actual padding in the back pad. Those back pads can be a really good option for people with very low body fat Female-bodied people It’s actually pretty easy. First attach the straps so that the harness is all together, like a pair of underpants. Put the dildo that you want to use in the dildo opening. Then step into the harness, and adjust the straps. In most cases, you want the dildo to be positioned right over your clit. Essentially, you want it where a bio cock would grow if you had been born male bodied. If you are a person with a large belly and putting the dildo on right on your clit would make it difficult to access the dildo, go ahead and position the dildo higher up on your belly. Now, make the dildo nice and tight. You don’t want it to move around during sex. Male-bodied people If you have a penis and are wearing a harness, you have several options. If you are wearing a harness and do not want to, or are unable to use your bio cock during the time you are wearing the harness, you have two good options: First option: Tuck your penis between your legs, pull on a sung pair of underwear and then put on the harness as described above. Or, tuck your penis up toward your belly button as if it is erect, put on a pair of snug underwear and then the harness. Second option: If you are wearing a harness and want to use your penis during the time you are wearing your harness (such as for double penetration), position the dildo part of the harness either above or below your bio cock. Follow the rest of the above directions. What do you do once the harness is on? Have fun. Let your imagination go wild. A very important part of harness play is your mind. Think yourself into your dick. Make it part of you. Jack off, get a blowjob, fuck any way you want. If it’s your partner wearing a harness, make sure that you tell them how hot they look. Some female-bodied people experience orgasm from the sensations they receive while penetrating their partner (or receiving blow jobs or hand jobs). Others receive pleasure from giving their partner pleasure, but don’t achieve orgasm this way. Remember, everything takes practice. Give yourself some time. And don’t forget to laugh. Sex is funny. And hot. Thigh harnesses open up worlds of possibilities for harness play. You can strap a thigh harness onto your thigh, or if it’s big enough, you can strap it on to a pillow, a door, a chair – the options are practically limitless. Do you want to be penetrated while you jack or jill off? A thigh harness strapped to a chair can help. Want to introduce double penetration into your relationship, but aren’t thrilled with the idea of introducing another person into your relationship? A thigh harness strapped to a pillow can help! Thigh harnesses come in all of the same materials as other harnesses. It’s simply a matter of selecting the one that appeals to you. There are also chin harnesses. We don’t recommend those be used for strenuous fucking. The jaw is simply not strong enough to slam into like that. However, they certainly can be used for light penetration. Have fun!
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