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Dress Up for Grown Ups Most of us have been role playing since we were kids. Cowboys and Indians, GI Joe, Barbies, House, Little Naked Slave Girl tied up and begging….oh, wait, that’s now. |
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About Role Playing Pretending to be someone else can be fun. It can free you to try things that the “real” you would never try. There are plenty of people and situations that we may want to be in for an hour or two that would feel horrible to live for days in a row (that horrible thing could be living as a corporate lawyer or as an adult baby – it all depends on your perspective). Role playing can free you to try things, or be people Role playing is just pretending to be something other than what you are. It can involve different clothes (or none at all). It can be elaborate. It can be simple. It can be anything you want it to be. It’s acting out a fantasy that turns you on. Frankly, most dates early in a relationship are a kind of role play. Someone shows up with flowers, doors are opened, kisses come at the end. It’s exciting. You’re trying to put your best foot forward. You are presenting a version of yourself that is you – but it’s the pretty version of you. It’s the you that doesn’t fart, is dressed in your best, and most likely is waiting to discuss your baggage until just a little bit later. If you’ve gone on a date, you’ve already done some role play. It’s not much of a stretch to take it a little bit further. You can role play by yourself. Create a fantasy in your head, dress the part, get out your vibrator and go to town! Of course, playing with others can be delicious as well. Anything is fair game in role play land. Daddy fantasies, furry fantasies, rape fantasies, pick up fantasies, office fantasies, delivery person fantasies: what ever turns you on. You are two (or more) consenting adults. Enjoy yourselves – and each other. At first role playing may feel a little silly. And it should. Because it’s fun. It’s play. Go ahead and laugh. Enjoy yourself. If you feel really nervous, try going straight to the sex. That tends to distract a girl. What do you do when a role play just doesn’t’ work? It’s going to happen some times. What feels really hot in your head can feel yucky or even boring when you act it out. Before you start the role play make sure you agree that anyone can call it off at any time. If something doesn’t feel good, calling it off is not only a good idea, it’s your responsibility. Your partner wants to make you feel good, and is trusting you to help them do that. If a role play is causing you emotional or physical pain in a way that you don’t want, you need to stop the role play. If you don’t you are putting your partner in the position of hurting you. And that’s not fair. This also means that you must be sweet if your partner calls off a role play. Saying, “I don’t want to do this” takes guts. Depending on the kind of role play you are doing, you may want to come up with a word or phrase that lets your partner know that it’s time to stop. Sometimes this is called a Safe Word. Using a safe word is an especially good idea if your play will involve simulating anything forced. If part of the fun is yelling, “No, stop”, you may want to have a different word in your pocket for if you do really want it to stop. Think about how each of you will know the role play is over. Being able to express and end point can be especially important when you are dealing with a role play that involves one person having more power. Some things that work include: selecting an object that will be moved when it’s done, taking off a necklace, or selecting a word or phrase. The rules are simple. Let your imagination free. Explore. Remember there are lots of things that will make your soul sing that you haven’t even thought of yet. Let them come into your life. And have fun. | ||
